Latest Parenting Articles

How to Protect Your Children Online

Wed, 18 Feb 2009 20:07:56 -0800

Mary Kay Hoal tried everything she could to keep her daughter off of myspace.

She forbade her from using the site, put password locks on the computer and even blocked the site. Still, her daughter found ways to access the popular social networking site. Hoal's concerns stemmed from information and statistics that showed 29,000 registered sex offenders were on myspace; one out of every five kids are sexually solicited online, and nine out of ten children are exposed to pornography online.

When she looked for alternatives for parents worried about the dangers lurking in the cyber-shadows, she found none, so she decided to do something about it.

The result is www.yoursphere.com, the only social networking site for kids and teens that's backed by the Federal Trade Commission through the site's Privacy Vaults approval. The site's Chief Technology officer worked at the California Department of Justice tracking anonymous online sex offenders, as well as the Megan's Law database. Moreover, it requires verified parental consent for a minor to logjoin.

Yoursphere.com has taken the bull by the horns, put a stake in the ground and is saying to the world: what's happening to kids online is NOT OKAY. Kids need to be protected, deserve to be protected and we're the only site that's actually doing something about it in a tangible and meaningful way.

The fact is that the dangers of the Internet for kids are very real, despite the safeguards in place in many homes. According to recent statistics, one out of every five kids is sexually solicited online. Even though it's a crime for sex offenders to work with children, or live near schools, online sexual predators are interacting with kids online and the anonymity available to them online eliminates offline barriers. Nine out of ten children are exposed to pornography online.

• When was the last time a parent or teacher didn't get involved offline when their child was being bullied, but online almost half of kids 12-17 that are bullied only tell a parent 10% of the time. At yoursphere no one is anonymous. Yoursphere is the only online community that requires verifiable parental consent

• Confirms the identity of the parent providing consent

• Confirms that the parent or guardian providing consent is not a registered sex offender

• Is exclusively for kids and teens through age 18.

• Exceeds COPPA (Children's Online Privacy Protection Act) and Federal Trade Commission (FTC) guidelines for protecting kids online through our approval by Privacy Vaults Inc.

• Whose policy is "no creepers allowed": predator, sex offender or pornographer targeting youth; any person setting up a profile with the intention to exploit, harass or solicit.

• No fake profiles. (No one is anonymous on Yoursphere.com)

• Offers our members monthly contests and a rewards program.

• Provides a platform for our members to engage in positive activities of shared interest – in "spheres" (sports, academics, music, fashion, moves & TV, art & photo, gaming, notebook).

"The bottom line is that we're the only place in the online world that that has taken extraordinary measures to help ensure the safety of its members and meets or exceeds standards set by the government," Hoal said. "Our opinion is that if it's a behavior that is illegal, immoral or unacceptable offline, then it's unacceptable online."

Apple Pie, Grandma, and an Outdoor Porch Swing

Wed, 04 Feb 2009 20:10:12 -0800

An outdoor porch swing is such a fundamental fixture in the American experience. I don't really know why for sure. Maybe it is because young romance can blossom there, or because it is the perfect place to sip on an ice cold lemonade and watch a lazy summer day go by. In fact, one of my earliest fond memories is from the mid 60's when I was four years old, eager and excited. I was sitting on the porch swing with my family watching the classic American parade go by. So many vivid colors, big horses, candy, happy sounds, and of course, the waiving beauty queen. And I took it all in from an outdoor porch swing. There is just something classic about that scene. I guess most people have some sort of memory like that. I hope so.

Another great thing about a porch swing is how old friends can sit there for hours and talk about nothing; talk about anything. Or maybe it is because when you're on the swing it means that you are not out in the garden weeding, or in the house cleaning, or slaving over laundry.

To me, an outdoor porch swing is about relaxing from the cares of life and finding peace, even if only but for a moment. The way the gentle motion of the swing slows the clock is magical. I could sit and swing for hours and it would only seem like minutes. And as I think back over the years I realize that there is just something comforting about an outdoor porch swing, something wonderful and warm, like the homemade cookies and bread I'd enjoy when I visited my Grandma's house in my youth.

One of the things I remember most about being excited to visit Grandma was that I knew her swing was waiting patiently for someone to visit, someone to comfort. Sometimes it was the cat. Sometimes it was people. I remember the old chains that suspended it from the rafters, how they seemed so faithful and strong. Sometimes when I would really get swinging too fast I would be worried that they would break, but they never did. I remember swinging on it with her as we watched the day go by without a care in the world; just me and Grandma.

There was something about that old outdoor porch swing that the cat seemed to like as well. I noticed that the cat spend more time on it than anyone else. Maybe it liked the warmth of the sun-room and the quietâ€¦who knows, but when we'd come along and want to perch there Ginger would slink away like only a cat displaced can. What a funny cat.

As I've grown older I've kept my fascination with swings and porches. My outdoor porch swing is made out of redwood and brings me a lot of happiness when I spend time on it with kids and friends. Someday I'll be a Grandma and will share some swing time with my own grandchild. I hope I can make it as memorable as my grandma did for me.

Baby Care-How to Reassure Each Other

Sun, 18 Jan 2009 04:05:27 -0800

If you both start out in the knowledge that these first few months can seem like hard work, you'll be able to reassure each other that you're coping extremely well. If you accept the validity of each other's feelings, for more detail go to: www.baby-care-book.com. And hold on to the fact that any difficulties are temporary, you'll discover that parenthood really is as pleasurable as you expected.
Father

The first few weeks with your baby are important in helping you get used to your new role as a father.

Support your partner. She will be very tired to start with as a result of going through labor and birth, and from the physical and emotional responsibility of breast feeding. Provide her with the time and space to meet your baby's nutritional needs, and reassure her constantly that she's doing a difficult job well your support can make all the difference.

Find time to help. If you're back at work, relish the opportunity to do as much as you can for your partner and your baby when you're at home.

Give your baby love. Babies need as much love as they can get, and there's no difference between the love of a father and a mother. If your baby is being breast fed, then obviously he'll need his mother when he's hungry, but at all other times he'll benefit just as much from your close ness and attention. This close ness from you will mean that your baby learns to be secure with both of you, which will help him to settle down and take the pressure off your partner.
Build a relationship with your baby from the start. Your own feelings as a parent will be strengthened if you spend as much time as possible with him. Being an equal partner in your baby's care will be rewarding and beneficial to you and to your family.
Mother

Your baby's first few months of life would be tiring for you even if you hadn't been through the rigors of labor and birth. Spoil your self and look out for your own needs.

Rest with your baby. Use the time when your baby is asleep to catch up on your own sleep. If he has his longest unbroken sleep in the morning, take advantage of it, or rest in the after noon when he does.

Share with your partner. If things are getting on top of you, he needs to know, for your sake and for your baby's Encourage him to care for the baby when he's at home, don't be over protective and try to do every thing your self.

Ask for help. If you're feeling isolated, don't struggle alone. Early offers of help may tail off because friends and family don't want to impose, but they will be glad to be asked.

Get out and about; being tied to the house can make you depressed, for more help visit to: www.create-super-baby.com. so try to get out as much as possible. It's helpful if you have friends locally who are also at home with young babies. You'll probably have met Like minded parents at prenatal classes. Having other new parents around you means you can share the good times as well as the worries, and, as your baby grows, he'll have a ready made circle of friends to play with.

Are You Feeding Your Child's Inner Artist?

Sat, 17 Jan 2009 19:57:11 -0800

Los Angeles, CA- When children start pre-school, it begins. They dabble with construction paper, finger paints, and glitter. They bring art work home nearly every day and we proudly plaster it across the refrigerator. But once most children start elementary school, the deluge of childhood masterpieces slows to a trickle, or in some cases, simply disappears. Thanks to shrinking budgets, many school systems have drastically reduced art instruction or eliminated it completely. So, if your child isn't taking art classes in school, how can you be sure their inner artist doesn't waste away?

Art teachers are quick to explain that art is more than just a fun outlet for students; it's an essential element of learning. According to the National PTA, art cultivates self-expression, imagination and creativity, as well as critical-thinking and problem-solving skills.
Jason Dobkin and Erika Gragg, co-creators of the new children's book "Snobbles the Great: A Snooze Patch Story," (Grabkin Creatives, LLC www.snobbles.com) credit their love of art as a driving impetus behind the book. Snobbles is a fruit-eating snake who is ridiculed by the other snakes in the Snooze Patch where they all live. While the story is sure to elicit giggles from both children and adults, the clever and unusual artwork will grab your attention from page one. Unlike many children's books, the story was inspired by the artwork, not the other way around.

"I was making little clay animals and Erika would place them in plants or other settings and photograph them," says Dobkin. "That's how Snobbles and the Snooze Patch came to life. We wanted to create a fantastical, new world for kids so we combined the normal aspects of children's books - drawings and a story - with painting, sculpture, photography, stage design, lighting, and cinematography to make a hyper-real experience. It's truly a children's book for the 21st century!"

Dobkin and Gragg hope parents will find ways to incorporate creativity into daily activities, especially when schools place such a strong emphasis on standardized testing. Some educators believe the tests stifle creativity because the questions focus on finding one correct answer instead of seeking various ways to solve problems. They fear this inhibits independent thinking and innovation—which can ultimately leave kids behind the curve when it comes to career opportunities in our globally competitive job market.

"If kids don't have the opportunity to be creative when they're young, it's not going to dawn on them to suddenly start thinking in new ways when they're older," says Gragg. "Kids who have artistic outlets are more likely to be successful adults because they see things differently. As business people, they'll be able to apply creative solutions and think beyond the basics."

While many parents want their children to excel in the basics, students who struggle with math, reading and science often benefit from artistic expression.

"There are children who don't do well academically, but put them in a dance class or give them a paint brush and they connect with it," says Gragg. "Suddenly, everything clicks. They start understanding math or English better because their brain has a new way to approach and interpret those subjects."

Speaking of brainpower, according to Americans for the Arts, students who participate in three hours of arts, three days a week for at least one year are four times more likely to be recognized for academic achievement.

"We tend to think of creativity as something optional we can scale back as children grow up, but it's much more valuable than that," says Dobkin. "When a child transforms a blank piece of paper into a colorful drawing, learns a song on the piano or memorizes a scene from a play that's an enormous confidence booster. And that confidence changes everything."

Better grades, problem-solving skills and confidence. Sounds like some very strong incentive to make sure you encourage your child's inner artist to come out and play on a very frequent basis.

Children's clothes -- shopping for them, storing them, keeping them clean

Mon, 05 Jan 2009 16:03:53 -0800

I shop often for children's clothes. Since I have a boy and a girl, there's no such thing as hand-me-downs, except for what I wash, store and then give away to charities and local shelters and community resource centers. I most often shop at Target for clothes for my children, because the prices are reasonable, and the clothing is almost always in style, fashionable and practical. On most days I can tell you honestly that one or both of my kids is clothed from head to toe in Target clothing!

The nice thing about children's clothes is that there are so many possibilities for styles! My daughter recently received a short-sleeved shirt that was on the long side, but rather than wait for her to grow into it, we simply paired it with a pair of leggings and a wide belt. Runway models could expect to pay hundreds of dollars for a similar outfit, but since I'm buying children's clothes, I can expect to spend less than the cost of a gas tank fill up for the outfit.

Keeping children's clothing looking nice is another thing altogether! When you pick out a nice outfit from a place like Sandbox Couture, or even a nice outfit from a local retailer, you want it to last. The key to keeping your child's clothing looking nice is to treat stains right away. Rinse in cold water, and scrub with a bit of dish soap (I recommend Dawn). Don't use warm water, because it will cause the stains to set in the children's clothes. Keep to cold, and wash the clothes on cold. Use a high quality detergent, like Tide or Downy, and consider using bleach for whites, and color-safe bleach for colored clothing.
Another trick to keeping children's clothes looking nice is to keep like colors together in the wash and dry cycles. Pair denims with reds, and light colors with other light colors. Also, for those fancier outfits with sequins, screen printing and the like, turn the articles of clothing inside out to protect the embellishments during cleaning.

Finally, remember to dress your child so that he or she looks her very best, no matter what the occasion! If you have a little girl, mix and match pants, skirts, dresses, leggings and tops to make multiple outfits out of just a few articles of children's clothes. For little boys, never underestimate the cuteness factor of overalls or a vest!

Princess Dress Up and Imagination

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 17:05:24 -0800

Dressing up is one of the most enjoyable and creative activities for your little ones. It allows them to use their imagination and strengthens their minds. This growth is especially important for them while young to help development into adulthood and will help them become well adjusted and successful in all they do in their lives. For little girls this often involves princess dress up clothes. They love to dress up in frilly princess dresses and tiaras with their little wands to help them act out their fantasies. This type of activity should be encouraged and assisted as much as possible. You might even find it fun to join in once in a while and allow yourself a bit of freedom from the rush and hustle of life.
As you join your children in this activity you may find answers to your own worries. Your little princess will enjoy her days in fairy land and will find solace in her activities. It may be that she dreams of being a mermaid or perhaps a princess in a kingdom lost and forgotten to our time. She will spend her time wearing fancy princess dresses and living life free of cares and worries. There will be enough time for her to deal with the harsh realities of life later but this time if for her to enjoy as you would a good book or a much needed vacation. Just think of the comfort it will bring to her life as she spends her time with her imaginary friends in a world free of strife. Allow her to be the princess she desires to be if just for a moment. Through this princess dress up she will gain the confidence needed to get through life.

When your little one desires to make believe you should do all you can to assist and allow her to spend this time growing her imagination. It was Einstein who stated that imagination is more important than knowledge. As adults we often discount this power and it stops us often from progressing and solving problems or finding solutions to the trials life throws at us. If we help our children cultivate this power of imagination it will help them throughout their lives. Your little girl may spend her days dressing up in princess dresses as Aeriel, Snow White, Cinderella or any other. These adventures are important and will help your little one grow.
While little boys want the guns and the swords and such your little girls are going to be thrilled if you offer them a wand and a princess dress or fairy wings and tutus. With their wands they will command the elements as they spend their time in their make believe world. With their princess dresses and ballet tutus they will dance as the Belle of the ball or as the ballerina they desire to be. Little girls love the fancy dresses, the princess tiaras and the feather boas. These are the tools of their trade and they will create for hours on end if you just provide them with a few of these items to allow their creativity to blossom. Add to the scene with home made items when needed and encourage the creativity.
Our greatest inventions come because of allowing and building upon imagination and creativity. Space travel has come far often due to the ideas of science fiction writers who put their imagination on paper. Great leaders are created from this same creative power. We are constantly doing bigger and better things many of which have previously been considered impossible. What is it that made them possible if not the simple act of imagining that it could be? Allowing this freedom with our children and encouraging them to use their mind whether real or imagined will build a great future for them and all around them.

Recognizing Teenage Depression

Mon, 15 Dec 2008 03:33:25 -0800

Depression can be a temporary response to many different situations and stresses. In adolescents, depressed mood is common because of the normal maturation process, the stress associated with it, the influence of sex hormones, and independence conflicts with parents.

It may also be a reaction to a trauma, such as the death of a friend or relative, a breakup with a boyfriend or girlfriend, or failure at school. Adolescent girls are twice as likely as boys to experience depression. Adolescents, who have low self-esteem, are highly self-critical, and who feel little sense of control over negative events are particularly at risk to become depressed when they experience stressful events.

True depression in teens is often difficult to diagnose because normal adolescent behavior is marked by both up and down moods. These moods may come and go over a period of hours or days.

Some of the signs of teenage depression are:

* Change in behaviors either at home or school in mood and actions
* Violence or temper
* Minor criminal behavior such as shoplifting, missing curfews
* Change in diet and eating habits such as bulimia or anorexia
* Excessive sleeping
* Suicidal thoughts and dwelling on the subject of death
* Difficulty sleeping accompanied by fatigue
* Feelings of sadness, or self-hatred

Anxiety and stress levels in teenagers have definitely increased over the last few decades. Our fast paced lifestyle contributes greatly to this. Many times we think depression and anxiety are just normal teenage feelings. We need to be able to recognize what is a serious condition, and what are normal teen problems.

What are some of the factors contributing to teen anxiety.
* Family History
* Divorce of their parents
* Peer pressure
* School failure
* Pressure to succeed in sports and extra-curricular activities
* Pressure from parents to succeed based on their expectations
These are some contributing factors, but what are the symptoms?
* Paranoia or feelings of doubt and uneasiness
* Physical pain such as aching or abdominal pain
* Rapid heartbeat
* Irritability or unexplained anger
* Difficulty sleeping
* Dizziness or off balance
* Chest pain
* Difficulty concentrating
* Fear that is not reasonable
If your child is experiencing any of these symptoms for more than two weeks, it is recommended to consult a professional or boot camps .

Cognitive Therapy for Troubled Teens

Mon, 15 Dec 2008 03:31:49 -0800

The particular therapeutic techniques vary according to the particular kind of client or issue, but commonly include keeping a diary of significant events and associated feelings, thoughts and behaviors; questioning and testing cognitions, assumptions, evaluations and beliefs that might be unhelpful and unrealistic; gradually facing activities which may have been avoided; and trying out new ways of behaving and reacting. Relaxation and distraction techniques are also commonly included. We hike, have team experiential activities and exercise for relaxation. One of the distraction techniques is sawing logs with a team member. CBT is widely accepted as an evidence- and empiricism-based, cost-effective psychotherapy for many disorders and psychological problems. It is sometimes used with the groups of students as well as individually.

An example will illustrate the process: Having made a mistake, a person believes, "I'm useless and can't do anything right." This, in turn, worsens the mood, leading to feelings of depression; the problem may be worsened if the individual reacts by avoiding activities and then behaviorally confirming his negative belief to himself. As a result, a successful experience becomes more unlikely, which reinforces the original thought of being "useless."

In therapy program, the latter example could be identified as a self-fulfilling prophecy or "problem cycle," and the efforts of the therapist and student would be directed at working together to change this. This is done by addressing the way the student thinks and behaves in response to similar situations and by developing more flexible ways to think and respond, including reducing the avoidance of activities. If, as a result, the student escapes the negative thought patterns and destructive behaviors, the feelings of depression may, over time, be relieved. The student may then become more active, succeed more often, and further reduce feelings of depression.

The objectives of CBT typically are to identify irrational or maladaptive thoughts, assumptions and beliefs that are related to debilitating negative emotions and to identify how they are dysfunctional, inaccurate, or simply not helpful. This is done in an effort to reject the distorted cognitions and to replace them with more realistic and self-helping alternatives.

Cognitive behavioral therapy is not an overnight process. Even after students have learned to recognize when and where their mental processes go awry, it can take months of effort to replace any dysfunctional cognitive-affective-behavioral processes or habit with a more reasonable, salutary one.
The cognitive model especially emphasized in Aaron Beck's cognitive therapy says that a person's core beliefs (often formed in childhood) contribute to 'automatic thoughts' that pop up in every day life in response to situations. Experiencing the change of environment in the wilderness can help break that cycle of â€œautomatic thoughtsâ€ in every day life situations and be able to have a new outlook and think differently.

Hey Mom and Dad-- Pencil Some Silliness into Your Schedule!

Wed, 26 Nov 2008 17:44:30 -0800

El Segundo, CA - We all enjoy having fun with our children. So why when we finally get home at the end of a grueling day, do we suddenly transform into the stern and dour ‘eat your vegetables’ and ‘get ready for bath time’ toddler police? Sure, it’s easy to get bogged down in the stress of adulthood; but is it wholly unrealistic to pencil in a little time for silliness with our children every day?

The answer is a resounding “no” and here’s why: even when you feel as though your brain is reduced to little more than a quivering, overworked blob of mush, you can still spark your silly cells. All you need is a little encouragement…and the crew from Flippy and Friends might be just the right helpers. This new children’s book series places giggles galore at your fingertips. Flippy and Friends provide the story, the vivid pictures, and the sing-song rhymes that toddlers love so much. You? Well, you provide the voice. The rest of the silliness just kind of unfolds with the story.

Brooke Shields, award winning actress & mother agrees. She said, "Flippy books are the only books my oldest daughter makes me put on her bedside table when she goes to sleep. She just loves her Flippy books...and I had to get two copies because the girls don't want to share them! Now I read my book...and Flippy to my youngest daughter every night...and keep copies on my bedside table in case they come into our bed!"
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“Flippy is an amazing tadpole who can literally become anything he wants to be…And that’s the message of our books,” says Dawn Kelsey, Communication Studies Instructor at California State University and co-author of the new book Flippy Goes on a Road Trippy. “When my husband and I wrote the first Flippy book, we were just being silly—and having so much fun!

Kelsey’s husband, professional actor John Mese, explains that Flippy was actually created during a cross-country road trip. “And it was on that same road trip home that I introduced Dawn to our partner and illustrator Chanler Holden who has added even more levels of laughter and silliness to the books,” said, Mese.

Mese points to his teaching improvisation classes in college while earning his masters degree, as a valuable lesson for not being too serious. “I would recommend taking an improvisation class to every adult,” says Mese. “It teaches adults to loosen up, and to play. Kids aren’t afraid to be silly, but grown-ups; sometimes we need a little help.”

Illustrator Holden, mother of three, goes on to add, “Getting silly with your kids shouldn’t be hard work. What I like most about the books is they bring you back to your own child-like sense of playfulness.”

That sense of fun and playfulness is the driving factor behind all of the adventures in Flippy Goes on a Road Trippy, (Moss Covered Gumbo Barn, www.flippyandfriends.com).

The title is your first hint that the book is full of rhyming text that’s irresistible to toddlers. The pictures are vibrant and children will surely spot some wonderful new detail with each subsequent reading. Best of all, in just a matter of minutes, the stress of your day will melt away as you and your child giggle and laugh your way through Flippy’s happy-go-lucky adventure. And after all…isn’t laughing with your child pretty much the best part…of any day?

Baby Furniture: A Wonderful Baby Gift for Mothers to Be

Mon, 24 Nov 2008 05:16:04 -0800

A baby on the way means there are lots of preparations to make. One big cost a mother who is expecting a baby can plan on covering is the purchase of baby furniture. There are certain items most families will need for their babies. If the family has a vehicle, then a car seat will be purchased. There are many different types of car seats available. Some are just for newborns, while others, referred to as "convertible" car seats, can grow with your child. In most cases, a convertible car seat can only safely transport and protect babies who weigh under forty pounds, so once your child reaches that weight, you'll need to upgrade to a larger capacity car seat.

A sling or a stroller is a great way to transport your baby while on the go. Most baby furniture stores will carry a large selection of strollers. There are basic umbrella strollers, midline strollers, and expensive lavish strollers. Each type of stroller has its own set of benefits to offer you. A sling is a close and intimate way to carry around a baby during the first few months of life, and is the perfect solution for breastfeeding mothers who wish for a convenient, mostly hands-free and semi-private way to nurse their babies in public, and even in their own home. However, babies can be quite heavy to carry once they reach twenty pounds or so, so at that point you should have a stroller to fall back on.

While a lot of new moms will co-sleep with their newborns, later on the baby will need his or her own sleeping arrangements. Most of the time, this is accomplished with a crib. Many cribs can later be converted into toddler beds and even into day beds or full size beds, so a crib, while a very expensive purchase, is certainly well worth the purchase. Most baby furniture is expensive, but it is also an excellent investment.

What other types of baby furniture can you expect to purchase? Well, most babies will need a place to be fed, so you can expect to purchase a high chair, or an indoor infant seat. When your baby grows into a toddler, then you can eventually pack away the often large and cumbersome high chair, and in its place introduce a toddler seat or booster seat. Babies need activity and movement. Consider a cradle, a baby swing, and activity centers like the popular Exo-saucer. Most baby furniture stores will carry these.

For your baby's bedroom, consider organizational baby furniture like a chest of drawers, a dresser, and a changing table. A changing table is an invaluable tool for baby organization. It can hold diapers, bathing supplies, even extra changes of baby clothes.